I feel very good right now! I am learning to animate.

I am learning to animate without just having to do frame-by-frame, but I am learning how to even do FBF better. I’m learning email marketing, I’m getting out more and interacting with people more. I just got rid of all the pigs I don’t currently want (yay).

I am running ads (hopefully effectively?) to louisville in hopes of being able to put on a show that people are actually excited to come out to so that I may be able to have a fun time performing instead of not or staring at my phone for comments.

I am getting some strange interactions on Instagram with these ads, but i’ll see how it goes. It’s actually a little hard not to get obsessive about it.

but that is lame and not good for my dopamine receptors or whatever. So I am taking breaks from IG as needed.

I am letting friends mostly come to me, I do not chase anymore. But I do love reaching out and hanging out when I know it is desired.

I am possibly being closer with wifey again and also working on probably one of the best songs I’ve ever made, with Jordan (love you Jordan).

Just did a long awaited acoustic album with my dad!? Just went to a NEARBY open mic? I live in very small area, forgot they did this. It was refreshing.

About to eat good in louisville tomorrow. ALL IS WELL.

It is 3 in the morning 🌙 and this will be whatever I come up with. I have been constipated for over a week 😩, I hope something is not seriously wrong with me.

I will sit here and keep trying to go because I really hope I can, this feels awful. 💀 I can feel all the nasty little shits 💩 that want to escape my body and they are soooo close. God it will feel so good.

Almost there. Not yet. What else to think about? I don't want to think too hard because I want to go back to bed soon 🛏️.

Tomorrow or today? Will be so chill I think... not much to do, just drive back home. I am excited because I will oh my God I am shitting. 🚽 Euphoria.

I will get my acrylic paint markers 🎨 and make the final touches on my first alcohol marker drawing! It looks so good and this is so fun and has revitalized me! ⚡

I went again, making so much progress wow was I giving up too easily before? There is a line between staying and going..? 🧘

I should make more art of my dreams again. I should really really remember to focus on creating and STOP checking notifications constantly to see if one more person interacted with my shit, its fucking pathetic and I'm kind of ashamed. 😔

I will NO LONGER do this. ❌ Self please remember this. Remember it causes more pain than good to obsess over this. And stop worrying if you're cringe.

I am an artist of course I am cringe and anyone that isn't is TOO GOD DAMN SCARED!

But I still want the engagement. But how much is enough? It's so difficult. It's never enough, it seems.

I am finally Journaling I guess and it is cool. What will come of it? More to come... 🔮 but what I was saying was.

When is it enough? What did the mushrooms tell me LAST TIME? 🍄 Share with those you love. Focus on that. And being with them, in the present.

But the reason we want people to see and interact with our art is because it's a way to feel understood. 💡 Please remember. If they are meant to see it, they will, without much effort. Stop putting in so much effort in that part. You don't have to.